This morning as I awoke, the day after Valentines day, I wondered why so much attention is given to show our emotional love on one particular day.
The word Love is an action word and should not be thrown around in words and general conversation only. For one we should be loving one another each and every day. Then showing and telling the ones we care about at every moment possible how we feel through our actions.
First let me say I am truely blessed to have such a strong and loving mother. In the early years of my life my mother was played a duel role, mother and father. My dad never took the time to show me he cared for me. My father would tell me lies like he was coming to pick me up on a particular day, and then wouldn’t show up. I would be sitting outside on our porch waiting for my father to pick me up until someone made me come in, even though my mother, grandmother and aunts showed me plenty of love, it just wasn’t enough. I needed my fathers attention. Unfortunately I never received it. Some men feel they have to be tough all the time and show toughness to their peers and especially their sons, thinking this is what makes them tough. Some may say ah he will be ok, he’ a boy it will make him tough. Sometimes this may seem true, but I would have to beg to differ. It actually makes the child disconnect from the very fabric from which all children need. I cannot express this enough, and let me be clear all boys need their fathers love.
As I grew up I continued to feel that love from people in general outside of the home wasn’t something I could count on. Every encounter with men at that time was tough, and heavy handed. There were no hugs, no I love you’s, so that was my understanding on how men treat each other and the way men should cay themselves. My experiences with women outside of the home for the most part were purely physical and was never based on true love either.
Mostly all my relationships as a young adult I approached with a guarded sense of emotion. There was no love on the streets of Chicago either, even when a guy said he had love for you, if it came down to money and even women that same person would cut your throat. I never let people get that close to me becuse of this type of environment.
I had to learn this first hand as a young man. Coming from where I come from, you start to learn to wear your emotions on your sleeve so to speak. You become numb to love and feelings, beacuse of so much hurt and pain.
Eventually things began to change for me internally. I started to look at life differently. After such hard living I was drained emotionally and began looking for a oasis from where I could not feel afraid to show my emotions and love.
When my wife who was then my girlfriend had my son in 1999, my first look into his eyes I decided that I would never allow my son to feel the way I did about my father and not only would I be a constant figure in his life I would constanty show him just how much he was loved by ME.
During this process it not only helped me in my relationship with my wife who i married in 2000, it allowed me to finally feel relief from some of my many demons. I now had a purpose. I had a mini me, I absolutely didn’t want him to grow up feeling how I did.
I started to distance myself from the streets and other unsavory habits, and began to go back to church here and there, and read my bible. This began to prepare me for the future. In 2004 my wife and I welcomed my daughetr in this world and that same year my grandmother went home to be with the Lord. It was a tough time for me becasue my grandmother showed me so much love and support throughout my life and we were close. In the midst of this I had gained a new love. My daughter. I was glad my grandmother got a chance to hold her. I began thinking about how God would want me to approach life, being a husband and father of two.
I started going back to church more and reading my bible every day. During this time as I grew in my relationship with God I began to have a different understanding and a greater sense of humilty of what Jesus did for me. I was reminded that Jesus gave up the ultimate sacrifice, his life, because of his love for me. I began to realize that the love I thought I never had was always with me through Jesus as he had been there through all my trials and tribulations. Now I donot find it hard at all to show others love through my actions. Jesus showed us all that Love Is An Action Word where you truely have to do something to show it.
I now use the Lord as an example or blueprint if you will, a road map on how to navigate and live my life. Being kind to others and showing Love to others is what it is all about and the key to unlocking so many things that I never would have known were inside of me.
In closing, I implore anyone that would read this post, the single most important thing you can do for your self and health is first and for most to “LOVE YOURSELF“. This way everything you do will come from a place of love starting from within and then outwards. You will be more likely to be sure about the things you eat and put into your body, you will be more aware of those you surround yourself with and what you allow to enter your subconscious and spirit.